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Big Girl Art

by Dolores Dagenais

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1.
Weeping Tiles (D.Dagenais) Flies in the sugar bowl, bees in the jam. Screen door hanging by a hinge And the pipes are full of sand but there’s a light on in the kitchen There’s a coffee and a nook with a chair to rest your bones in For your hat there is a hook Home is where the heart resides. It’s not the roof it’s not the size not the windows not the doors, not the ceilings not the floor it’s the weeping tiles hole in the window where the rain comes in and all the walls still groan in the wind but it’s dry down in the basement and it’s warm on every floor and nothing’s moving this foundation the rest is nothing less or more and there’s no crack in this concrete and the cellar doesn’t leak so all those rains will move around us directed by the pipes and the weeping tiles
2.
Big Girl 02:37
Big Girl (D.Dagenais) Maybe someday I’ll have a big girl voice, wear big girl shoes make big girl choices And I won’t have to sound like I’m weak or need you for the harmonies or lie that I’m a soprano When I know that I I am an alto and I’m strong enough to run my own show when I’m a big girl Maybe someday I’ll have a big girl car wear big girl clothes make big girl art And I won’t have to look like I’m weak or need you to take care of me Or lie that I’m not your equal in all I have been, and all I have been through I won’t walk behind, but I’ll walk beside you I am a big girl Father and brother, cousin and friend don’t make me less, less than I am I may be small but I can’t pretend that I’m not a big girl Maybe someday I’ll have big girl life not as mother, lover, sister, wife Those definitions fit too tight when there’s more to you than meets the eye Like poets and painters carpenters , sailors, soldiers and tinkers Who don’t give a damn of what you might think her she is a big girl.
3.
When I Didn’t Know How to Sing (D.Dagenais) I never knew you but I knew you well from a song on the radio a night hot as hell I laid on my bed my feet on the wall head to the speaker with your voice in my heart both broken in some part your words in my soul when I didn't know how to sing You never knew me but you knew me best stole all your best lines out of my chest while I was dancing with a shadow I knew that had no face but it was you in my arms when my arms were empty comfort and kindness when I didn't know how to sing years can change a lot of things, memories among them and innocence and belief can be wrung from them but I remember you and me the summer I was 13 and your song in my mind and my mind was open your voice in my heart before it was broken your soul in my soul when I didn't know how to sing and I never knew you but I knew you well....
4.
5.
Nightingale Song (D.Dagenais) Blue bird, at my window can you pull down the color of the sky Put it in my true loves eyes Pretty raven, on the evening air can you pull down the color of the night Put it in my true loves hair A rose from a cardinal, a cloud from a dove For the lips and the skin of the one that I love But he needs a voice, for singing along Can you lend him your nightingale song? Phoenix with your crimson wings And you fold him in your silky fire fill him with a pure desire
6.
Daisy On the Roof (D.Dagenais) There is a wild flower growing in the city It’s home a tall tower, window box pretty Does it ever think about the wide open spaces? Does it ever miss the rest of the earth it embraces? With its roots- Daisy on the roof - Daisy on the roof There is a girl who waters it daily she tends it well and re-pots it yearly She has never seen the sight of wide open spaces Her feet have never touched the soil that she places At its roots- Daisy on the roof Somewhere down in her blood her soul still remembers The generations that were born to surrender to the sand People of the land – people of the land Her night is filled with the sounds of traffic No cricket lullaby, just deadly racket She needs to dream about a place that is better Opens a window and climbs up the ladder to her proof - Daisy on the roof She keeps a scrapbook full of care weathered faces She knows their names and all the dates and the places that they died She keeps them all inside – she keeps them all inside
7.
Pyramids of Stars (D.Dagenais) There’s a man at the window studying the sky There’s a woman in the station waving goodbye To the boy in the uniform who has his father’s eyes Oh prophesize, tell me everything is gonna be alright And he’ll be back again Mother hold your son, Father hold your tongue Cause you can’t change the path he’s on You can’t change what he’s become Pyramids of stars flags on mahogany Pyramids of stars mementos and memories There’s a girl in a rain coat a small boy by her side Green grass and gray stones in a weeping autumn sky And the man in the uniform puts a token in her arms
8.
Present Situation (D.Dagenais) I’ve had trouble in my life I’ve seen sorrow, I’ve seen strife They tell me that all good things come to stay... for those who wait Somehow that doesn’t make the present situation seem ok I’m not looking for a saviour and I’m not looking for a sign I’ve got these two hands and I can take what’s mine That’s the present situation I’ve had my share of ups and downs I’ve been robbed and pushed around They tell me that the meek will still inherit the Earth on judgment day Somehow that doesn’t make the present situation seem ok I’m not looking for your answers while I’ve got questions of my own I got what I got and I got what I own That’s the present situation We run around in circles, we run around in pain We give ourselves the run around then find someone to blame I’m not looking for forgiveness; I don’t want you to atone I got what I got and I got it on my own That’s the present situation
9.
Talking to Jack (D.Dagenais) I’ve been talking to Joe And he says that’s the way it goes With men like you Who like to play around I’ve been talking to Bill The male perspective on the thrill Of the cheating that you done And all the reasons I should run Tonight the barroom lights are low The band is playing something soft and slow And all the good advice won’t save me now I want you back, when I’ve been talking to Jack. I’ve been talking to Mike And he thinks that he might like To take a turn with me On the dance floor tonight I shake my head and order up a shot instead Another round, for the fool and the clown Tonight the cold star light shines down I wander to your cheating side of town And thank the Lord above that your window is black ‘Cause I want you back, when I’ve been talking to Jack.
10.
San Diego 03:27
San Diego (D.Dagenais) Oh San Diego, Oh Malibu With your pink Barbie castles And you divided wealth kings and peasants too I read the news about the mansions that went up But not a single word about this old man’s cardboard box Oh San Diego The wild fires blew in on the Santa Anna wind And ashes fell like snowflakes, covered up the swimming pools Houses lit like kindling On the ridge I stood and looked down on the wealth And for tonight I thought everyone is like myself Homeless in San Diego You know the fire didn’t care who you were or what you owned It took the last thing that I had that I considered home That picture of you in San Diego
11.
Might Fly Away (D.Dagenais) You say that I’m a blue bird I might stay, but I might fly away hey I might fly away. And you smile like a cat with a canary But I’m wild and I know when to be wary So throw your seeds out on the lawn If you really want to hear a song Here I am and here I’m gone I might fly away hey I might fly away Cause I know that you can never own me And I’ll go baby and leave you lonely
12.
Obviously 02:44
Obviously (D.Dagenais) Nobody loves you, like I love you Give me the times of day give me the watch give me the chain Give me the time it takes to make you see these Obvious things...obvious things, I got what you need And I won’t wear a disguise, just look in my eyes my heart’s on my sleeve obviously, obviously, obviously Nobody could want you, the way that I want you Give me a pass to go, give me the rock, give me the roll Give me the sign to show you, even if I gotta show you slow Obvious things, I got what you need and I won’t keep it away, I won’t make you play 20 questions with me obviously, obviously, obviously I know there was a time when you thought your heart was broken And you threw it away, well I gotta say that One man’s trash is another man’s token obviously
13.
Pushing Flowers (D.Dagenais) Everyone’s a hero when they’re dead and gone Every little loser finds they suddenly belong On a stony alter with a candle and a rose that’s the way she goes She didn’t love you when you were here she won’t tattoo her arm She won’t wear her mourning for a year or write you a song They can forget your arrogance but she moans in her sleep They can forget the cruel remarks. It’s a secret she keeps It’s so much easier to mourn the ones you love than the ones you can’t forgive It’s so much easier to love the ones who’ve gone than the ones who live Everyone is beautiful when they’re pushing flowers every ugly mother fucker is suddenly embowered with a silver halo; holy and untainted the truth gets painted They can forget how much they hated the way you use to rant They can forget how much you hurt them, she finds she can’t Hope everyone is patient and kinder up in heaven and every mudsling critic finds themselves forgiven standing at the pearly gates With a mouth full of derision I hope they let you in.
14.
Never Seen The Mountains (D. Partridge) Got a letter just this morning, at the bottom was her name On a jumbo jet to Switzerland she saw the sea. She wrote to me, “From my window seat the sea all looks the same.” We were living near the harbour and the sea was in our lives And our loving rose and fell but it was never still, At least until the Alps replaced the ocean in her eyes. So many roads and lands If you would just ease your grip on my hands I’ve discovered that I can’t find what I’m searching for holding you near. You know I’ve never seen the mountains and The mountains seem a long way from here. I’ve been thinking that I really ought to drop that girl a line ‘Cause she took the time, uncapped her pen and wrote to me Trans-atlantic-ly, I believe I know just what I’ll say in mine. “You know I’ve never been to Zurich and I’ve got myself to blame I have mountains of my own, I’ll travel good and far To where the Rockies are I just hope that ocean doesn’t look the same”. So many roads inland...

credits

released May 1, 2010

Tracks 1 to13 written and performed by Dolores Dagenais (vocals & rhythm guitar). Produced by David Partridge, (additional instruments and arrangement, background vocals, guitar, keys and virtual instruments) Lead guitars, dobro, steel and mandolin by Robert "Buck" Wilburn. Violin (Daisy on the Roof) by Larry Rice. Benjamin the studio dog on dog collar percussion.


*Bonus Track 14 "Never Seen the Mountains" written/performed and published by David Partridge, guest vocal by Dolores Dagenais, additional vocals and guitar leads by Robert "Buck" Wilburn. "Never Seen the Mountains" copyright David Partridge used with permission.

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Dolores Dagenais Pictou, Nova Scotia

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